Our dear Anita: I am addressing this letter to you because I
know that it is you who will hold the key to triumph over the challenges that
have recently raised their ugly heads in your family and in your ministry. I am
convinced that even if you don’t read this letter directly from me, some of the
numerous members of Christ Embassy across the globe could read it and draw your
attention to the words of an old man who is pretty much in the same calling as
you and your husband are. I am writing this from my home: The Vicarage, St.
Matthew’s Church of England, Stratford, E15 4JX, where my wife, Christy is the
Vicar, and the co-ordinating Chaplain of Westfield, Stratford City.
We were all taken aback when we read about your intention to
file for a divorce against your husband, Pastor Chris. It was a scandal, Anita,
and you must not let it happen.
I need not tell you that in today’s world, many factors tend
to get in the way of successful marriages. It is, therefore, practically
impossible to recommend a general panacea for all the troubles that can hamper
the success of any marriage. But in all our travails, as Christians, we must
bear in mind the fact that in a very profound sense, marriage is the most
intimate of human relationships, involving sharing a person's entire life with
his or her spouse. By its very nature which emphasizes conjugal love, the
institution of marriage is ordained for procreation and for the ultimate
education of children who come from such marriages. It calls for self-surrender
to the other spouse, a surrender that is so intimate and complete that spouses
become "one," not only in body, but also in soul, without necessarily
losing their individual identities.
As the servants of God, you must ask yourselves where the
ultimate education of your children comes into this divorce prompting. If this
divorce actually takes place, how would your daughters who you are preparing to
become future leaders in the church and mothers in the family feel, knowing they
come from a broken home? And how do your numerous followers interpret your
individual identity with reference to your commitment to family and church?
There is an African adage that says: there is no age when a
man can say: ‘I have known it all’. That adage also applies to the institution
of marriage. No one can claim to know all there is in that human relationship
called marriage. It is a university. Those in it learn by the day from it. And
most times, the lessons come in different shapes, culminating in various
experiences. As a result, the marital experiences of people actually differ one
from another, depending on circumstances and such factors as upbringing,
environmental pressure and work demands. In all of these, no one can claim to
have a ready answer to all the myriads of problems that couples face daily in
their marriage relationships. It is even more complicated these days when
people marry for various reasons that can range from legal, social, emotional
and economic needs to spiritual stability or upliftment. But no matter the
reason a couple gets married in the first place, the demands of marriage remain
ultimate and constant. Husband and wife must have a unity of purpose in all
their undertakings. In short, they must be seen as, and remain, “an item” in
the eyes of their society.
Many of your admirers across the globe want to believe that
work pressure, which is pressure from those you work with or think you are
working with, is responsible for this undesirable development of you, Anita,
filing for a divorce against Chris. The truth they want to believe is that not
only has Satan attended service at Christ Embassy, just as he attends services
in all churches that are reputed to be doing well, he is waiting to receive
Holy Communion! He has penetrated your ministry and is using your work force to
direct you. That is the challenge.
Don’t forget that God allowed Satan to sift the quality of
those who profess to worship Him. God cannot be mocked. If Satan wins this
battle, then God was never in your Ministry in the first place. Your millions
of admirers across the globe will be greatly disappointed but they will not
make any mistake about the truth.
You sure must know that your admirers, even from other
Christian denominations are in their millions. Many of them look up to you as
their role model. Think again. Must you let them down? Is this idea of
divorcing Chris so binding? Think about it again. Is this not selfishness? Here
in England, many homes break up, with their families torn apart. But when you
look at the situation closely, you find that selfishness on the part of one of
the spouses was the fundamental reason the family broke up. Should that be the
testimony of your Ministry? Would you allow material things like money or
alleged sexual indulgence destroy your Ministry and make a mockery of all you
have invested into it? To remain married, spouses must be ready for a long-term
commitment in every conceivable respect, financially, emotionally and in terms
of maturity and ageing.
Having said this much, I would like to quickly point out
that there are many things about marriages, especially among Christian Families
that are often taken for granted. One of them is the sacrosanct promise
publicly recited by couples in front of their witnesses, and in front of God.
They usually vow to love, cherish and respect each other “until death do us
part!” Think about the admonition God gave Adam in the Holy Book. Adam and his
wife Eve were the first recorded couple on earth, according to our Christian belief.
God created the Garden of Eden for them, with all the glamour and beauty that
the scenic environment portrayed, just as He has prospered Christ Embassy. The
Holy Book mentions that husband and wife explored the Garden naked. They were
not ashamed of their nakedness. They must have been as innocent as a newly born
child. That was how God wanted them to be – innocent. God specifically told
Adam not to eat of the forbidden fruit in the centre of the Garden of Eden. God
told him: “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of
the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat; for in the day that you eat
of it, you shall surely die.”
The serpent, described in the Holy Book as “more cunning
than any beast of the field that the Lord had made” prevailed on Eve and she
convinced her husband to disobey God and eat of the forbidden fruit. But Adam
lived for many more years before his physical demise. It means that God was not
talking about the physical death of Adam. God meant that Adam would die
spiritually. Adam’s spiritual death was not interpreted at the time God told
him he would die if he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. No
one knew the mind of God when He spoke to Adam about the tree. But God’s decree
happened. The spiritual death of Adam and his wife ushered sin and death into
the world. For disobeying God, Adam died spiritually and his death distanced
him and his wife from God.
By the same token, modern marriages can die spiritually.
When husband and wife fail to upkeep their vow to cherish, love and respect
each other; when selfishness and the desire to be the one left standing at the
end of the day is inadvertently at the centre of their relationship; when the
ill-conceived advice of “frienemies” (half friends and half enemies) holds sway
in their marriage, that union is doomed to spiritual death. The couple will be
separated from each other, just as Adam was separated from God. The couple may
still be living together as Adam and Eve continued to live in the Garden of
Eden. But in the spirit, they have been disconnected from God who brought them
together initially.
Yes. Even the Elders and Pastors of Christ Embassy are not
free from all this. They too have a case to answer. No Christian marriage can
simply crash without series of warnings. And we make haste to ask: where were
the Elders and other Pastors of Christ Embassy when this entire trouble
started? Where were they when it continued and when it was allowed to escalate
to this world-wide level? Where were they? What did they observe? What was
revealed to them, even in their prayers? And what did they do to salvage the
ugly incident that was coming on to daint the image of Christ Embassy?
Anita and Chris, you must surely know that the devil is at
work in your Ministry. You must not let this happen. Millions of your admirers
out there will be very disappointed. Don’t listen to those frienemies of yours
who are pretending to advise you genuinely, because they are not. You are
beautiful, Anita. Chris is handsome. And I am sure this combination of beauty
and brain is what has attracted so many people to you and to your ministry.
Call Chris to prayer over this challenge, and withdraw the suit from court.
That is what all your admirers feel you should do. Don’t allow money or things
of the flesh to come between you and the love of God expressed in you as a
great woman of God.
Pastor Benny Hinn had this temptation. The devil set a booby
trap for him. His family was tearing apart. But he overcame the gripping power
of the Evil One. He triumphed. And today that testimony stands strong in his
favour and profile. The world is watching, hoping that you prove who you really
have been. Your children are waiting, not to be stigmatised with the label of
children who came from a broken home. Christians all over the world are praying
that as a great woman of God, God Himself will reveal the future of this
divorce road you appear to have followed to you, Anita. And we all believe that
you will triumph over this period and live to give testimony of God’s goodness
in your life. Paul is advising you in Ephesians 6:10 to be "strong in the
Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full amour of God, so that you can
take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggles are not against
flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the
powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in heavenly
realms. Therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil
comes, you will be able to stand your ground.”
Paul himself summarises this challenge that seems to be
rocking your family and ministry in 2 Corinthians 6: 3-10: “We put no stumbling
block in anyone’s path, so that your ministry will not be discredited. Rather
as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance, in
troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in
hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and
kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and the
power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left;
through glory and dishonour, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded
as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on;
beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making
many rich; having nothing, yet possessing everything.”
Mr Emeka Asinugo who wrote this letter is a London-based journalist.
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